Ask Ash Week 1: Tunneling Advice

Agony Uncle Ashley Keating of the Frank and Walters answers questions from troubled fansThis week’s question comes in from recently overthrown dictator Colonel Gaddaffi who inquires:







Dear Ash, I’ve recently built an underground tunnel from my palace to a nearby caravan park on the edge of Libya. However, the Aldi tent poles I’ve used to support the secondary escape route seem to be straining under the weight of the rioting public on the streets above. Do you know are Lidl’s tent poles much stronger or should I make the investment and upgrade to a Dunne’s Stores Gazebo pole structure? Kind regards, Mad Dog Gadaffi

Dear Mr Gaddafi,
May I first thank you for all the beef you bought from us in the 80’s! I’m not sure why you tried to pay us in AK47’s though? U.S. Dollars would have been way handier. I guess you did have a bit of a beef (sorry, couldn’t resist!) with those guys at the time.
So, onto your prediciment. Tut tut on you! You clearly didn’t read “advanced tunneling” by Steve McQueen, not only was Steve the bass player in Prefab Sprout but he was also a master tunneler! Chapter 3 specificaly deals with inferior arch support systems and methods to resolve said issues.
I’ve popped a copy in the post which should be with you shortly. I’m also in possesion of a job lot of fine oak beams which I picked up cheap from the set of the great escape. I’m sure we could come to some sort of deal. I accept all major currencies as well as precious metals and gem stones.
Yours in despotism
Ask Ash

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